Where Will They Be?

I often think ahead to the future; as 5 years ago, I wasn't sure I would have one. Now, I allow myself the chance to wonder where I might be in 10, 20 or 30 years. I wonder where my children will be their lives. I wonder what they will be doing, where their paths in life will have traveled. Will they be working? Will they be married? Will they have children?

I think sometimes people expect pony rides and clowns to be available at their convenience. Parents don't want to tell their child "no," because God forbid we stamper their dreams or squash their self esteem. What happened to the word no? I've met so many parents who just allow their children to do whatever they want. I don't know if it is because they feel guilty about working, so they make it up to them by allowing them to do whatever they please and never say NO to the child? The parents go the store, and "Little Billy" gets whatever he wants; and believe me, "Little Billy" learns very quickly how to play the game.

I believe that kids need to help out in the home. I know that I, along with my brother and sister, did our share of chores. We had to clean our rooms, put away our laundry, fill the woodrack, clean the dinner table, cut wood, help out at the barn next door, mow the lawn (all 5 acres) and perform other tasks around the house. Geeze, we didn't even get an allowance (gasp!) Why did we do it? Because it was part of our jobs, part of being a member of the family. Did we bitch? Heck ya.. Did we do it? Yes we did. Did I enjoy it? Well, lets not get crazy...

Now that I think about it, I had it pretty good. I had a nice house to go to sleep in, I had nice clothes, I never had to worry about food. My parents did a darn good job, and I thank them for that. I actually belong to the group known as the "Orphan Club," so I just have to believe that somehow, someway, I thanked them previously for their gifts, as I can't do it in person now.

When I look at this picture, I wonder where my child will be in the years to come. I hope I've given her a solid foundation to do what she knows is right. I hope I've given her the skills to function in society. I hope I've taught her right from wrong. Most of all, I hope my kids are happy and glad that I was their mother; the big meanie who made them clean their rooms, mow the lawn, take care of the pets they begged me to bring home, wash their clothes and clean the litter box. I hope I've not spoiled them too much.

Like a Kid in the Candy Store

Yesterday Barb, Kendall, Carly and myself were in La Jolla California visiting the tide pools, the children's pool and all that La Jolla had to offer. While browsing the streets of La Jolla, Kendall and Carly were insistent that we visit Powell's Candy Store. We must have spent almost an hour in the tiny store but we discovered many, many varieties of candy. There was taffy, gumdrops, Pez dispensers, buttons, CHOCOLATE, gobstoppers etc. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was playing on the TV (which is my favorite movie of all times.)

There were items I remember as a small child and some that were new to me. I definitely did not need any candy but these things were not just candy but necessities for my life. I could not go without...

Here are a few things that really jumped out at me and right into my shopping basket.
After visiting that "time" in my mind, I decided to go forth and see what else I might need to purchase for use at a later time in my life. You know, I need to be prepared.
That purchase, of course, led to this purchase....
We had a blast in that store and bought a variety of items. I have to wonder, was it bad for me to allow Carly to purchase these?
Don't get all crazy on me with the cigarettes, if you look closely, the girls actually have them in their mouthes backwards! TOTALLY CLUELESS

I'm getting a visitor....

I've come to realize in my "old" age that good friends are definately hard to find. I mean a true friend, one you can not talk to for 7 years and then have contact with them and your friendship can pick up where it left off.

My friend Barb (some of you know here as Mrs.4444 is coming for a visit with her daughter. The last time I saw Kendall she must have been about a year old, so its been quite a while. I told them to bring their Thelma and Louise hats and rent a convertible to drive up and down the west coast! I've already enlisted my son Nick (see above) to teach Kendall how to surf. We've lived here in California for less than 3 years and for some reason we've aquired 5 surfboards not including our boogie boards, skim boards so we have plenty of beach "equipment". Don't worry, I will try to keep our guests safe - honestly there have been no shark sightings since the last episode (see about 4 posts ago).

Psych!

Road Trip

This summer, we are headed back to NY to see our family and friends we ditched when we relocated. Around Christmas 2007, I started thinking of what I could get for my husband for a special gift. I knew we were going "back east" in the summer, and I knew that this was to be the last year in Yankee Stadium. So I devised a scheme to have all of Chuck's family (around 22+) meet us in NYC to see the Yankees. I have to admit, it wasn't too hard convincing them, as they are all diehard fans. I couldn't keep a secret too long, as it was difficult to convince Chuck that we really needed to fly into JFK and not Rochester or Syracuse. I think he was actually still surprised just a couple months in advance.

Although I had lived in NY for over 40 years, I have never been to the "City." I have passed by NYC on my way to Long Island but never actually been in the "City." So, we will be tourists from California in July - I can gawk and take pictures and enjoy myself. I just hope we don't get mugged.

I'm definately over budget

For those of you who know me - you know how cheap I am.

I'm the lady who reuses plastic ziploc bags, refills water Dasani water bottles, cuts coupons and loves to dumpster dive. My husband is the type of man who begs me to go shopping, go to a real store and purchase items. But I rarely do, because I am so cheap. I am so cheap that years ago, when Mrs4444 and I lived near each other, we split the cost of a newsletter called "The Tightwad Gazette."

Today, I am definately over budget, as I spent $41,357.97. I have never spent that kind of money, unless you count my 2nd and 3rd house. My first house was $50,000.00 - it was actually $5.00 cheaper each month for me to own a house, rather than rent. The house was very small, 800 square feet - no basement, no attic and definately not a garage. It was a two bedroom, two story Cape Cod, and my middle child was conceived and brought home to that house. My second house was about double that both in price and square footage. The house I'm in now - well, I won't even go there, but its a bit more.

So, to say I spent $41,357.97 today is, for me, overwhelming - but I spent it anyways.
I bought a pool! Well, I bought the labor and materials for a pool, so technically, I did not buy a pool, although I do have one that I purchased 2 years ago on the side of my house that is held together with duct tape. We are all so excited! I grew up on Oneida Lake (near Syracuse, NY) and my husband grew up on the Hudson River - water is in our blood so to speak. My two oldest kids are lifeguards, and my youngest is on the swim team at the local Y.

After speaking to the salesman, I asked silly questions, like what color light I could get in the pool, but one of my main concerns for the structure of the pool was for my dog, Stella. She loves to swim, and I had steps put in just for her - I so love my stinky dog. Stella, like myself, could use the exercise. She's over 100lbs of love.

We all can't wait!!

Kids - they keep me on my toes

Remember my last post about my beautiful daughter? Today she informs me that she is going to a "Pimp & Ho" party. The sad thing is, she really doesn't look much different than her everyday ware.
Since my cancer, I'm really not into the "breast thing". I'm not to concerned if the shirt is to tight, or see through or even the fact that boobs somewhat pop out of the bra they are incased in. I’m just not overly concerned with that.
Same with hair. I’ve never had good hair. I’ve never had Farrah Fawcett hair or Jackyln Smith hair. I’ve always had crap hair, thin and fine that breaks once it gets to the length of my shoulders. I wish I could have good hair, you know the kind that I could flip from side to side, curl, straighten, you know just great hair.
But no… there were no plans for that so I’ve adjusted. After I lost my hair, I said “once it grows back, I’ll never have a “bad hair day” ever again”. But I do….
I find that my scalp shows through the thin hair and I take a deep breath, contemplate what I could and realize ABSOLUTELY NOTING can be done so I put my best face forward and go on with my day.
Tonight when my daughter announced that she was going to the “Pimp & Ho” party I did proceeded with the normal interrogational process. Who is going to be there, will there be alcohol? Who is driving, what time will you be home etc.
So I’m thinking that I did my job as a mom, but then when she walked down the stairs looking like she had a push up bra on I admit, I somewhat winced… Then I realized having boobs is better than not having boobs… I asked her boyfriend if he would pray for me tomorrow in Church and he looked at me and said “oh absolutely”. He knew exactly what I meant.
Sometimes as a parent, I just have to close my eyes and hope we all squeak through without to many bruises. I think God will forgive me.

Rachael

My daughter Rachael went to Prom with her boyfriend Todd on Saturday - she looked beautiful. I look at her and wonder where she got her looks from as she takes my breath away on a daily basis. She changes up her hair, does something a little "different" with her makeup and I'm just blown away by her. Of course, I think she’s most beautiful without a drop of make up on her.
Rachael is my "Cybil" from the Exorcist. When she was little, I had no peace. She was always into something and dramatic. When Rach was born, she aspirated the meconium in her placenta so she was placed in intensive care for a week. After she came home to the house, there was never any question that her lungs were just fine. She could yell louder, cry louder and longer than any child I had ever known. To this day, she is my loud child. But she is also the child who will take care of me when I am old. After my cancer surgeries, she was the one who took total control of my care even though she was only 11. She was my Nurse Nelly through out all the difficulties I had. She’s a good kid and I’m very proud of her.
I wonder what she will think or say when I actually do have to go and have her take care of me. I think I will leave my clothes out on the floor, underware crotch up, food, juice, beverages all over my room and see what she says. I will watch scary movies, leave makeup all over EVERY bathroom and see if I get grounded.
Nah, probably not.. I’ll just be happy to be with my Cybil.
Thanks Rach!
Love Mom

Why I Don't Go In The Water...

We moved to California a couple years ago from New York. At the time, I was dragging my heels deep. I wanted to move but I was scared to move because I'm not that good with change but I knew the move would be good in my heart.
The kids were much better than I with the move, they left the only school they had ever known and said why not? Both my husband and myself have always lived near water. When I was younger, my parents house was on Oneida Lake in NY and we had an in ground pool. When I got married and moved, we lived less than a mile from Lake Ontario. We still have our family cottage on Cayuga Lake which is also in NY. As much as I love the water - I am petrified of natural bodies of water, i.e. oceans, lakes, ponds, etc. Let me clarify - I can be on the water but definitely not in the water all because of a small movie you may have heard of called Jaws...
Yes Jaws - you know the movie not real, the movie that Steven Spielberg decided to direct and scar my poor 11 year old soul forever. Why did you do that to me Mr. Spielberg? I was just a little kid.....
I love to swim - in water that I can see the blue bottom of. In fact I went to both the beach this morning and the YMCA this afternoon. Did I swim at the beach? Heck no, barely got my feet wet. Did I swim at the Y? Heck ya.. I even found bugs, earplugs and a necklace in my adventure today at the Y. Was I afraid during my lap swim, not once.. Throw any kind of fish in the same body of water I'm in... then I freak. When I actually have to go in the water at the cottage, I wear goggles and I can scream like a little sissy whenever I see a bass, perch, sunny or god forbid the almighty "Killer Carp".
You’re probably wondering why this has anything to do with the picture above and/or our move to California. Well my husband always picks on me, tells me that there are no sharks in Oceanside CA as the water is to cold, blah, blah, blah. I myself take no chances and in the 3 years we have lived here I've only been in the Ocean maybe 4x. Not only is this due to my belief in sharks but also it’s because the water is freaking freezing here - but I have to admit mostly because of the movie Jaws.
Well on Friday guess what happened 3 beaches south from our beach in Oceanside? A retired veterinarian was out surfing and a great white shark killed him. I feel bad for the man's family, ironic that he took care of animals all of his life and now his life was taken by an animal. A strange and uncommon thing here in Oceanside but I have to say I was right, I knew there were sharks out there in that water.
In the 3 years we have lived here my son has been surfing more times to count, in fact my daughter was on Surf PE this year. Every time, I mean everytime they would go surf I always would say”watch out for sharks" and upon their return, I would always ask if there were any. They thought their mom was a crazy person! (Yeah, in their defense I kind of am - especially with sharks). Just goes to show you I may be crazy but I was right about the sharks!

A Mystery in Oceanside

Today Chuck went to the store and came home with a mystery just waiting for a sleuth like me to crack. He presented me with a flash drive that he found next to his truck in the parking lot at the local store.
My mind went crazy, I wondered what mysteries could be solved with the flash drive. Do I open the drive up? What would it reveal? Maybe, just maybe it belonged to a Russian Spy and it had all his secrets, maybe it belonged to the President, the Secret Service, maybe it contained Martha Stewarts Insider Trading Stock tips, maybe it would reveal where Al Capone was actually buried? Maybe it belonged to the mob, a movie star, a foreign dignitary, the possibilities were endless.
Do I take a chance and open it? What if the Spy/Owner came and tracked me down like on the movie “The Net” with Sandra Bullock? Maybe I should just throw it away in my neighbor’s garbage and then when the Spy came to kill me because I “knew too much”, he would be thrown off by my quick thinking and disposal of the evidence in my neighbor’s garbage. No, I couldn’t do that to my neighbor, I actually like them.
I decided to throw all caution to the wind and just open it so I could save the world with my new found knowledge.
I found some excel files, some accounting information, some fliers, meeting minutes… Oh how very exciting.. I had to read more….
Then, I took a deep sigh and realized what I had.
Girl Scout Crap.
Bunch of Girl Scout information…… Now I love Girl Scouts, in fact my daughters have both been in Girl Scouts but I must say, I was a bit disappointed.
I read further and wondered who I could belong to. I opened a file entitled “letter of recommendation” for which I found a name and number at the bottom of the letter. I took a chance and called the author of the letter and let them know that I/Chuck found their flash drive in the parking lot. She was grateful and wondered how I could know it was her lost drive? I proudly replied “I read all your stuff”. Gosh, I sounded like a stalker now that I think about it.
Lady came to the house, offered me a Mary Kay booklet as she happens to sell the What a reward… Maybe when I opened the door to give it to her she was thinking yikes, this lady is pretty ugly, she needs my help. Maybe she leaves these flash drives all over the city hoping an ugly person would find it.
Oh well, I may have looked/acted like a Creeper/Stalker but I’m an honest Stalker.

The Silver Stallion has left the track

I have to admit, I have stayed away from my blog because of its appearance. I even begged a friend of mine to do it. Here's my password and username, please, please, please....

But no, she has to go burn cookies and doesn't have time for my blog.

So here I go...

I'm in a somewhat saddened mood. Tonight, we sold the Silver Stallion; my 2001 Ford Windstar that carried us 2793 miles across country when we decided to move from NY to CA. The Silver Stallion that kept me from going insane with its ability to put my children in a somewhat coma while they watched movies in the backseat and I listened to my favorite CD. The Silver Stallion, which had a few bumps and bruises, but for the most part lived a happy life here with our family of five.

I had to give it a cool name so that I could possibly persuade my oldest child to take it when I got a new vehicle. "Come on, it's the 'Silver Stallion!' It's a chick magnet! You can even watch porn in the back on the 8-inch screen!" But to no avail; none of my children even wanted my free Silver Stallion. They would rather take the bus.

I put the car on Cragslist last night, and today, a nice lady emailed me, very excited. Her husband and nephew came over and said, "We will take it!" and then rode off into the sunset. I feel somewhat sad, as it was a good vehicle for me. I actually never minded driving it. I didn't care that some people may have thought it wasn't cool enough for California; it was mine and all mine. I hope the new family loves it as much as I did.

I tried to tell them all the great things about it, but they didn't seem too interested. Heck, they didn't even test drive it. I boasted about the 6-player CD, the entertainment package, the fact that there were adjustments for the pedals for short-legged people. They just didn't seem to care. So, I may not have told them that I've had like 4 flat tires (nails love me) and that the brake light occasionally sticks; therefore, the battery will die, or that sometimes the check engine light comes on but I just ignore it. I actually gave them a deal, as Kelley's Blue Book listed it for over $6K, and I sold it for $4K.

My Silver Stallion was replaced with a 2008 Ford Expedition...Some people may think I'm terrible for getting an SUV, but I do love my new car. I do my share (and my neighbor's share) of recycling and composting, so I splurge a little of Black Beauty. My husband bought it for me for Christmas; it had a big red bow on it Christmas Day, just like in the movies!!! I was shocked; I've never had a new car. I'm 44 years old and never had a new vehicle (even the Stallion was green broke and used when I got him. )

My family surprised the heck out of me Christmas Day. I received the usual; new PJ's, bathrobe, slippes, and thought I was done with my gifts, and my daughter said, "Oh yeah, Mom, did you open the big box?"

Big box??

"Oh yeah, Mom. It's outside. I forgot..."

I walked out in my new PJ's and saw this big BLACK BEAUTY on the road...I laughed and said, "Yeah, right..." My husband pulled out the keys and remote: beep-beep...I was speechless! I have to say this is the first time in my life I was actually speechless.

Instead of the "Silver Stallion," Black Beauty is a perfect fit for our family. I can still sing like crazy and the kids can watch their DVD. Plus, I look hot in it...maybe it's the tinted windows?